Survey musings……

This assignment I understand has been a ‘once in a lifetime’ experience; both in terms of understanding nature as also self. I got the space to get closer to both. Jumping on the stones while walking up the rivers, crossing the pools in the rivers by walking delicately on the fallen tree trunks, crawling beneath cane-bamboo (dense as any vegetation i have come across) and many more such moments brought me close to nature. Sitting alone, thinking of ‘today’ and being ‘far’ from all that was ‘away’ from me then brought me closer to my mind and spirit.

Mid way into the survey when I realized that this was a “one of those crazy experiences that would stay with me for long” I pondered on what was the nearest I have come to such a fulfilling experience in life. The only word that came (and it did pretty fast) was Moghias ~ those days when I made attempts to comprehend the practices and perceptions of the Moghias in Sheopur (Madhya Pradesh), few years ago. Drawing parallels (as is my habit) I realized that both these were primarily knowledge accumulation tasks on subjects whose familiarity was restricted beyond their realms; I had agreed to be a part of both exercises without being aware to the magnitude of the tasks they involved ~ as I look back I wonder if it was the lack of clarity that made me give consent to these exercises; I had not made a detailed plan (read one that is logical and can be monitored) for both these tasks; I experienced places (yes~) that I was unfamiliar with and I was out of touch with people other than colleagues associated with the exercises. I mused on whether these were conditions that helped the knowledge accumulation tasks better or I get enthused and invigorated when amidst an ambience that both these experiences espoused.

I have this habit of complaining; I indulge in this when an act takes place as also post the act and funnily enough with people involved in the act and others too. During the initial days few incidences led to my getting irritated for I could not understand why we were getting delayed or not undertaking actions as we had discussed. However since most colleagues in the survey team were not comfortable with either Hindi or English, two languages that I generally voice my thoughts in, I did not have the space to launch my rant. In the process I noticed that remaining silent and letting colleagues perform in accordance with what they thought was logic got work done and in most cases in a better fashion than that would have been done had I ventured to interfere. Silences also led to space for me to notice incidences where colleagues were far more patient with me than I would have been in their place. Patience is something I seem to have lost on the way to becoming a “manager” and need to espouse at an early date. Being a good human being is far more crucial.

I realized that while walking amidst nature has ever been a satisfying experience for me, being alone in course of walks during the survey was a blessing. I was overwhelmed by the wilderness we came across; I recall with fondness the stretch we walked for 3 days coming across neither a human being nor a carelessly thrown piece of plastic. As the intricacies of forest ~ the complexities of nature unfolded in front of my eyes they made me feel humble, insignificant and drew attention to the need to take myself less seriously.

The successful culmination of the exercise (that had us walk for 3 weeks) by the team has been a personal triumph. The exercise gave impetus to the ongoing process of re installing credence in self and brought to end another journey. A journey that had begun some years ago in the urban labyrinths of Maharashtra, took its nascent shape in a dusty south Rajasthan summer and culminated in this tail of a corner of India in Mizoram. At the crux these are all personal journeys……